I wrote this in 2007, but I’m still wary of Verizon. There have been a few companies I’ve had to interact with that treat me poorly, and when I finally get transferred to the one nice person in the bunch I kind of want to whisper “RUN” into the phone. Bad customer service can haunt a relationship, especially when it happens repeatedly. Do you have relationships like this with some companies? Do you stay or do you go?
originally published 5.30.07
Verizon, I have been using your mostly crappy DSL for at least four years now. I don’t often call your service department, but when I do I am talked down to, yelled at, transferred needlessly, and generally abused. And that’s just the automated system. I spoke with your Mrs. Holden at 1:39 this afternoon, who made a what is known in technical language as “piss poor” attempt to sell me dry loop DSL for $40 a month. Every time there was a break in the conversation while she looked something up, she casually mentioned another fee. By the time we were half way through the order, I was told I would be locked into a contract for a year and would have to pay the bill on a credit card and what on earth did I mean could I make a payment directly from a savings account? I heard a lot of G-esque* “Nooooooo”; certainly more than I was willing to tolerate while taking time from my busy work day to attempt to stay with your generally average service, Verizon.
After exchanging emails with Karen’s dad**, doing some more internet recon, and generally hating every major corporation in the world (except Starbucks. I could never hate you, Starbucks. *hugs enormous cup of coffee*) I found that for the price of Verizon DSL and Direct TV and without the little dish outside my window, we could have RCN cable, complete with an HD/DVR box for the living room and On Demand programming, as well as every movie channel known to man, as well as RCN high speed internet. In one handy-dandy bill. Cheaper than anything Comcast was offering. Gleefully, I called you, Verizon, to tell you I was no longer a customer. I imagined there would be yelling, cursing, and perhaps a supervisor involved. Instead, you sent me to Tom.
Tom was kind. Tom was sad to hear that I was leaving, astonished that I found a better deal outside of Verizon, and digusted with his fellow employees who, through the years, have treated me so poorly. If I had spoken to Tom at 1:30 instead of Crazy Mean Mrs. Holden, I would not have had to break the heart of this very sweet, very efficient and helpful man. Well played, Verizon. But you still suck. And now I’m free.
*G was a guy I dated briefly who decided I was too stupid to function and would “correct” everything I said with a slowly drawn out and impatient “Nooooooo.” You can see how well that worked out for him.
**Karen was my roommate and her dad knows stuff about ‘puters.